3rd Sunday Post...

It is almost the end of May and I am elated! I knew this month was going to be so long and I needed to get through a week without Matt. I have survived and am now looking at how few days are left in what seem to be an eternal journey of pregnancy. This last week though I became really frustrated. I was frustrated with myself, the fact that I move like a jersey cow, and that I am still house bound. It has been wonderful weather and I have wanted to go and do things outside with my kids. But my body just won't let me. I have suffered so much from "Mommy guilt" because I want to be a fun active mom with my kids. Poor Joshua is counting down the weeks like me. He's ready for Grandma to be here and ready for mommy to start being healthy again.

I was really down on myself and knew that the only thing I could do was reread a talk given by President Uchtdorf, Happiness: Your Heritage. I love this talk and often refer back to it when I am having a bad day. And it did lift me up again and made me realize that women tend to only see the things they think they "fail" at. That no matter how perfect something is, we tend to only see what we weren't able to do. Motherhood had started to become like that. I could only see the things I couldn't do with my kids and it was incredibly depressing. Amazing talk! Read it!

Happiness

The other talk I that really helped me during these awesome bed rest days was by President Monson, The Divnie Gift of Gratitude. Now that I have established my mood this past week you can understand why this talk would be insightful and helpful to me. I kept thinking that I still have 20 plus days to go and my belly will only continue to grow, making it more difficult to sleep or do anything.

Again, I was incredibly depressed by the thought of how long I had to go until my 39 week mark. I was weighed down by the fact that everyday is just going to get harder and then I have to go through the recovery a c-section. I could not see any hope and I just broke down Friday night. But after reading these talks and talking to Matt I am in a much better frame of mind. I have made it more than 37 weeks and compared to my last pregnancies I am doing fabulous! I can eat (more than just fries) and I can drink water! Water was something I could never hold down with my other two pregnancies. Also, I have a great doctor and have everything planned out, as far as my help goes after baby comes.

I do have a lot to be grateful for and realizing that has helped me relax more and has given me back the hope/motivation I needed to get through these last 2.5 weeks. That's all I have left!

Here were just a few exerts form the talk by President Monson that touched me.

"We have all experienced times when our focus is on what we lack rather than on our blessings. Said the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” 5


"How can we cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude? President Joseph F. Smith, sixth President of the Church, provided an answer. Said he: “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life.” He continued: “Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!” 9


"Do material possessions make us happy and grateful? Perhaps momentarily. However, those things which provide deep and lasting happiness and gratitude are the things which money cannot buy: our families, the gospel, good friends, our health, our abilities, the love we receive from those around us. Unfortunately, these are some of the things we allow ourselves to take for granted."