Our Home

This is our new home! We love it...it's perfect! This is where we will live for a few years and we could not be happier! It was a nightmare trying to find a home to live in... no one rents here, they want you to buy! So Lame. Lame, because we didn't want to buy a home because we decided we wanted to end up in CA, AZ, or yes, UT. So we are just renting this cute little blue home!

Joshua loves it! He says all the time, "Mom, love this new home...best home...no neighbors!" I think we permanently scarred him with our last apartment. But he feels safe now and is so happy!

Breakdown...#2309

Ha!

Yes, yesterday I had a major breakdown. I was so sick and it was Monday. Enough said.

I hate Mondays. I was struggling because I have two adorable needy children, one going through potty-training (which is like a bipolar event, one day he is perfect and the next horrific! My second bathroom smells like pee), and wait, I'm sick. Like, really sick. Freezing in my very warm house, with layers of sweats and old high school sweatshirts on. Having to do all the work that is required of a mother, wife, and individual...when all I wanted to do is lay in bed and cry. I was so tired. Just exhausted.

I don't particually like Lady Gaga but one song really speaks to me. Matt thinks I'm crazy because I relate so much to music. But I'm one of those people who need music because it helps me deal. This Lady Gaga song is called Poker Face.. So how good is your poker face? Mine is excellent! But my real feelings broke through yesterday. It was probably a new low.

At BYU my roommate said being at BYU was like almost drowning...you can't quite catch your breath but when you do another wave comes and pushes you back, perhaps even farther.

But we still have to keep going.

And on top of everything last Sunday Matt was made a President of an Auxiliary....super...NOT!

A Bishop's wife once told me that there are consequences to everything. Just because you marry a righteous man doesn't mean that life is going to be cake. He's going to be called to serve and you are going to be the one who gets everyone ready for church and tries to keep them quite during sacrament. It will always happen when it's least ideal and you will struggle.

Great.


So I broke. My poker face failed me.

I don't really have a point of telling you this but just to admit that I have a poker face. I think when other people show you there real hand, it makes you realize that you aren't the only one struggling. The only one feeling overwhelmed. The only one feeling like you are drowning.

One talk from General Conference really has made me think. Here is a part of it from Elder Cook's talk.

"There are many kinds of challenges. Some give us necessary experiences. Adverse results in this mortal life are not evidence of lack of faith or of an imperfection in our Fathers in Heaven's overall plan. The refiner's fire is real, and qualities of character and rightousness that are forged in the furnance of affliction perfect and purify us and prepare us to meet God...

We are unaware of hosts of blessings that we receive from day to day. It is extremely important that we have a spirit of gratitude in our hearts."

Refiners fire is HARROWING...but I guess that is why it's called fire, right?

But I'm given HOSTS of blessing I don't even see, on top of what I DO see.

I hope one day my poker face will be my real face.

I know it can be but it will always be a struggle to get there in this life.

PERSPECTIVE

PERSPECTIVE...

I needed to hear this.

I needed to be reminded that I have so much.

Perspective.

I should never complain about anything because I have it easy.

Healthy boys, a safe home, food to eat, a perfect job for my husband, and so much more.

I often feel I am entitled to have somethings.

But it is that feeling of entitlement that causes problems.

Everything I have is more than I deserve.

I'm grateful for,



PERSPECTIVE.

Family Photos

I love my family! I love having all boys! I also cut my hair WAY short and thought about when meg flint cut her hair in junior high and wishing I had her confidence to pull off my short locks. Still not sure what I think about them, but at least I will save on shampoo and other hair products :)

Visitors

My parents came for a visit and loved Tennessee! They loved our new home and really missed their grandsons! Samuel was his happy self and took right to them. My mother appreciated that. We saw lots of things and of course took them to the zoo :). Thanks for coming out!

Joshua's school had a thanksgiving feast and he got to be an Indian that day! My dad went to a special lunch that day with him too! He had so much fun except the face paint kind of threw him for a loop. He HATES being messy/dirty. :) wonder where he gets that?

Where to start...

Yes we moved. Everything went so well and we were all done by Sunday, we moved Saturday morning. I'm a little OCD and can't function when my house is a mess. :) our house is perfect and we are so much happier here! Joshua loves his new home and keeps saying 'neighbors all gone...love this house'.

Our neighbors always woke him up and scared him, they even scared me. But now it's all over and I could not be happier.

Joshua has a new friend named Alice. She is great! I love her family and her mom Sarah! We came over to our house for trick-or-treating and dinner. We had so much fun! Joshua loved it and the next day at school I think he thought he was going trick-or-treating again because he held out his bag and waited for his teacher to give him something. She just laughed and tried to find something for him. We love his teacher.