Time goes by fast. I remember sitting in my gym class after a long night of studying and telling my junior high teacher that I would sleep when I was older. Boy was that wrong!
I am reflecting because this year is a big year for me. I turn 30 and Matt and I celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. I finally can say I am no longer in my twenties. People might actually not mistake me for a RM as past stake presidents and bishops have.
But this new era has also caused some serious pondering. I will be 30. How did that happen? What will my 30s be like? Thirteen going on 30 feels like a movie a relate far too much to. That is how I feel when I was called to be in YW. A fish out of water, because she really isn't an adult, but a 13 year old girl in an adult body.
The biggest problem I see though is having people give me the stare and wonder how I am where I am in my life without being in my 30s yet. I know I am the joke and stereotypical type Mormon mother. I made great grades, from a white middle class family, went to BYU, met my husband in our family home evening group, and am a mother of 3 boys.
People then tell me how grateful they are they didn't get married young. How experiencing life was so fantastic and getting married would of just made them a terrible person. In fact, that is only what girls do when they lack depth.
Normally this doesn't bug me but the last time his happened it unnerved me. I started comparing my husband's career success to my "worldly" success. And of course the scale would show the worse picture.
A picture of me as an utter failure.
A good talk with my husband and some serious contemplating brought me back to the truth.
What I am doing and what I have done has been successful.
I have experienced living in 3 different parts of the country. Made new friends who we consider family now, when we literally knew no one within the entire state. Lost a friend to cancer. Lost a nephew. Survived 3 c-sections. Survived potty-training 3 kids. Spoke and danced in front of 2,000 people at BYU. Had an opinion editorial published in the BYU paper and acknowledged by the Dean of students. And many more other experiences during this decade of marriage. Graduated from BYU with a high GPA and didn't pay for tuition once (Thank you U of U tithe payers)!
I am tired of people thinking that there must of been something wrong with me because I got married young. Or that I caved to the pressure of the church and got married in my teenage years. Or that I wasn't a driven or motivated person.
I got married because I met the right person! What would it have been like if we had just dated during my BYU life because I was too obstinate to marry young? Or because I walked away to pursue my worldly goals? Have you seen 13 going 30?
I would have missed out.
I would have lost.
I don't need your approval on my life choices.
I made the right choice for me. Please don't try and rationalize my choice because it wasn't what you would of chosen. You don't know who I am or what I have been through.
So happy milestone reaching to me! I am glad I can be a real adult soon because I truly still feel like a teenager.
