Christmas Break

This Christmas we took a major road trip. A 1,700 mile, each way road trip. I was pregnant and we had two children under 3. Man, I feel like I need to make commemorative shirts or something. But we did make it.

My siblings had planned a big surprise party for my dad, my extended family was having a party, and Matt's family hadn't even seen Samuel ( well most of them) so we decided to try and make it.

Glad we did. We had fun visiting with old friends! Making family memories and just being with family. We weren't planning on coming back til jan 1 but I was too exhausted. Being pregnant does take the adventure side out of you. I'm so sad I did t get to see some friends, Amy and Erica, and didn't even to temple square lights. :( But we were snowed in one day so I can't blame being lazy, we just couldn't get out of heber. :(

But we are so grateful now to be at our house and in our own beds. Samuel hated the pack n play, Joshua loved cuddling with Dad and I just missed my bed.

We had a good year full of major changes but are excited to see where we will be in a year. Happy New Year's Eve!!!!

A car after 1,700 miles in a wind storm and across snowy roads.

The cutest wiseman.

Poor uncle Craig didn't see how much energy his nieces and nephew had.

First time bowling. Joshua actually beat me. :( not my sport.

First BFF Briley.

Dependent...

My iphone died.

I cannot believe I feel like my whole life is over.

We are about 6 months away from qualifying for a new phone.

When did I get so dependent on a phone?

Probably doesn't help that I've been stressed getting ready for Christmas stuff. And it probably doesn't help that I am pregnant and my emotions are literally, a roller-coaster, set on super fast, and I have no control over them.

I spent 3.5 hours at the mall today between apple and AT&T and neither could magically make my phone work. :(

I dragged two children to the mall and they didn't mind the wacky chairs at the apple store's kid table, with an accompanying ipad, but it still wasn't ideal for them. After some time spent at the mall's play area we went to AT&T and my son ended up laying on the gross mall floor carpet while we waited for some kiosk AT&T worker to do what he could. I felt so bad letting my child lay on the floor but at least he had an iphone to watch a movie on.

Everyone stared at him and then looked at me like I was a crazy mom. I know, I feel horrible, but what do you want? I already have one growing in me and one strapped in my ERGO carrier...there really isn't room for one more.

So good-bye contacts and notes I made about lists of Christmas stuff to do before Christmas. I know I should be grateful we are all okay, but I am so exhausted and so tired of being hungry, that losing the extra appendage my phone seems to be, feels like I have lost a war. And then I feel terrible because I'm complaining about an iphone breaking. What is wrong with me!

Oh, yeah, I'm pregnant, hungry, tired, and missing my husband. He has been swamped at work and with his calling. Christmas break can't come soon enough!

Baby 3.0...

With every pregnancy I've gravitated toward a song. I relate too much to music, I know but this is how I cope with things. Aside from shopping :). This time around is

Stronger, by Kelly Clarkson.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller

What doesn't kill you makes you fighter

Footsteps even lighter>

I'd like to think I am a fighter. And I know, that with each pregnancy it has made me a stronger person. A much better person, than anything else could of. I have written so many post about how motherhood broke me. And I don't know exactly how to explain how or when my attitude changed. It was like learning to play the piano. At first it's just painful. Completely new, totally lost, and frustrating. But then after a few years of practice it becomes fun. You want to show off what you can do. You like the confidence it brings you, and although you still have to practice, and the songs get harder and more intricate, the rewards have grown exponentially. I had played with the idea that maybe getting a job would be good for me. But after we moved, I told Matt, "Man, why would I ever want a job? I have the best life! I am so HAPPY!"

I really enjoy being a mother. Joshua and Samuel bring me joy that I can't express in words. I am so proud of them! I am proud of all they can do. We have so much fun playing and chasing each other.

This child was not in the plans, at least from us. We had looked into adopting and foster care. We were on that road and then lightning struck and I told Matt, I know we need to have another baby. He was shocked, and not quite sure if I was thinking correctly. Because, my pregnancies are less than ideal. Zofran is constantly needed, I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. How could I do this with family far away, doctors I don't know anything about, and with two CRAZY boys? But I tried to have faith and just trust that things would work-out, if it really was meant to happen. And it then it happened, and we knew it must of been right.

So I think I am crazy most days, and still cry because it is hard. But between a great husband and sweet boys I am doing okay. I listen to my song, and the YouTube church videos, which always make me cry. But cry in a good way.

I miss UT and the great Dr. Tandy Olson and the great Spence's Pharmacy in Logan. Both were first class in their professions. But I have finally found a great doctor, thanks to our Grandma Fredline, and all seems to be looking good.

Baby looked great today. Was a very active child, so all of our ultrasound pictures are blurry because he/she would not stop moving.

Smith baby #3 is due mid June. Yeah!

A Busy Saturday

This weekend was incredibly busy. We have taken up to bike riding about an hour every other day. Joshua is getting so fast and confident on his little bike. And Samuel loves sitting easy and yelling at his brother if he gets too far ahead of poor mom in the jogging stroller.

We stopped and had a leaf fight on the trail one day. I think that was one of my favorite things to do in the fall. And this Saturday was filled with seeing Santa at Monkeys Trees House and participating in our wards Christmas parade float. It was all exhausting but Joshua and Samuel had fun!

We have had so much fun lately. We have really enjoyed our new home, new ward, and new area!