But I want my Umpa Lumpa NOW

In high school my best friends were all at least 6 feet tall. Which made us a really funny group because I'm barely pushing 5'2. One started to call me Umpa Lumpa and it is a nickname that just kind of stuck. So when I use to complain to them they'd say, oh poor Umpa Lumpa.

I'm officially 37 weeks now. No baby. No contractions anymore. My doctor is going out of town next week so I definitely want to wait until my original scheduled c-section day, April 12th. I'm going CRAZY!!!!!

I had to deal with the idea that this baby would most likely come early so like an OCD freak I prepared everything. Now I am just waiting. Waiting.

But I am extremely grateful I'm out of the danger zone and reached 37 weeks. Thanks for all the prayers! The stats for a baby who is born unhealthy at 37 weeks is 1 in 100. However at 39 weeks 1 in 1000 isn't healthy. So the stats are significantly better for this little boy if he can make it to the 12th. And matt has been really nervous because he says I'm so small. True I'm no where near I was with Josh but Joshua was two weeks late. Also a little concerning at our 36 week appointment I lost a few pounds. But no worries I gained them back this last week. But my husband said, 'I'd of been more happy if you gained 8lbs.' so sweet. And at this last appointment my measurements had not changed.

So maybe this is a good thing but I WANT MY LITTLE UMPA LUMPA NOW!!!!!

I feel so selfish. But I'm done. I want to eat again. I want to start recovering from my c and start holding this little one. Start exercising again and being more independent--not to mention more mobile.

Thank goodness conference is coming so I can be make it through this. I know I will be smacked for my lack of patience, taught to be grateful that I'm able to have kids, and smacked again for being so self-centered.

I tend to do better when my reprimanding comes from GA's instead of my dear husband. Who I know is in the right and never uses anything but perfect gentleness to tell me I'm wrong.

So here is to the 12th and waiting so my baby will be healthy and my great OB will be back.

Two Year Habits

I haven't blogged that much about Joshua lately and thought I'd write a few things down about him at this sweet age.

*cutes boy ever! Really. He is the most sensitive boy. He is very in tune to people's emotions and gets sad when he thinks you are sad. He is frightened by loud noises but is himself quite rambunctious.

*He would play outside all day long in whatever weather Utah decided to present him with. He loves puddle jumping and loves his snow boots! He does not like strong wind though.

*CARS. He always has to have all his cars wherever he goes. He lines them up in perfect straight lines in every room you are in. He LOVES cars.

*can fully operate my iPhone. Has no problem searching through videos on YouTube to find his 'wheels on the bus' and 'abc' videos.

*loves to scroll through the music on my phone. He loves Kelly Clarkson and lows to get up and dance to Gangs of Four.

*He is talking like crazy and with that comes cute adorable moments. He always says 'dank you' and 'please' even at the most surprising moments. Today matt took him off the bed to be changed but Josh wouldn't let him take him until he had all his cars. After dad was loaded with cars he picked Josh up and Josh just smiled and said, 'dank you.'

*He is very active and goes until bedtime and nap time. But as long as you read him his books and give him his mints before bed/nap he sleeps like a champ.

*he loves his daddy and while dad is gone anytime he hears the door move or the neighbors he turns to me and says, 'ah daddy?'

*he loves to play 'hide-n-seek' in department stores and scare his mommy to death. Which is why we don't go there without multiple adults anymore.

*favorite shows include ratitilloui, cars, Micky mouse club house and Handy Manny. But he never watches TV for more than a hour at a time because he'd rather be outside or playing with his cars.

*he loves to laugh and my favorite thing is to get him laughing so hard then stop and let him catch his breath and then ask, 'again?' to which he always replies, 'again.'

*He loves to read books and I love catching him read his favorite books to himself. He is so smart and is learning so fast.

*He hates nursery but hopefully that will change.

*loves to tell us what to do. Like 'sit down' or 'put phone sleep' or 'up'.

*Loves to slap bums. He's I'm sorry for teaching my son to slap bums but in my family we tend not to show affection and just high five or slap bums. This habit has created some great memories and priceless faces of surprised neighbors.

*today Joshua told me he had a baby belly too. He loves baby Samuel already and loves to kiss my belly and tell him 'get out.'

Basically I'm a typical mother who thinks her child is perfect and much cuter then every other kid. Life is good when you have such cute kids who make you work like crazy but reward with precious priceless moments.

36 weeks

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36 weeks and I'm so done. But not really. Mainly I lack patients in just about everything. I have been doing better at waiting in line at the grocery store since President Uchtdorf called my lack of patients out at his last April conference address, but that is about all the progress I've made in that arena.

At 36 weeks I have been to labor and delivery twice. Once again I was there today. Much fun was had...NOT. I've been order to stay on stricter bedrest. My behavior on bedrest has been poor. Since being put on 'partial bedrest' I've done more than I know I should. I went to Dillards clinique bonus time to place my yearly make-up order, took Joshua to the doctor, went on a bus ride with Josh, played at the park with Josh, and took Josh to his friend's house. Do you see a pattern? I feel horrible because in order to take care of one child I must neglect another. I hate this!

But I am grateful I have a husband with enough guts to tell his extremely strong willed wife 'no you may not get up.' poor husband--has to deal with making sure I don't break my new rules of total bedrest and a demanding fully functioning two year old. He probably will be more anxious to get this pregnancy over with than me.

But everything is fine and we will see what my doctor say at our next appointment. Hopefully I can make it to the 37th week at least, both physically and mentally.

So update your blogs people so I can have something to read. :)

While you were in Japan

Matt is home! I am home! And our tiny apartment never looked so beautiful! I am so grateful all worked out! While matt was gone we did have fun. I went shopping with my cute sister-in-law Michelle. I spent time with my cute little brother. I talked late at night with my mom...like old times. I watched my son grow so close to his grandpa. Josh decided he wanted to talk like crazy and now hasn't stopped! Love it!

I got to spend time with my new little niece! And got some fun pictures of me and my pregnant sister-in-law. It was fun minus the hospital scare and the whole Japan thing.

Went and saw my OB and he said everything looked good. Wasn't too worried about the baby coming now or later but said bedrest is a good idea. So we are shooting for bedrest for the next two weeks. We will see how long I last. :)



Joshua loves his "pap pas!" We bought this shirt knowing grandpa already had one just like it so we could be twins! He really did have so much fun with Grandpa!


Josh would only eat for Grandpa and Madilyn while Matt was gone.


Playing in dad's suite case before he left. Josh loves to jump all over clean clothes...


This is a video of him playing with his cousins. They played so well together! And after this Joshua kept saying, "where's my Sadie, where's my Madi,..." He loves to play with older cousins. He had so much fun so thank you Lees and Gear for coming up a second time to appease my child while Matt was gone! It meant so much!

Clarifications

I think I need to clarify some things--for my friends who read this blog and don't have my number. Which u should email me so I can give it to you anyways smith_mar4@yahoo.com.

I had melt downs and panic attacks a little while ago because matt was leaving for japan for his MBA program. Here are the reasons why I, being in an emotional casserole state freaked and what has been going on since he's been gone.

1. I am really needy. I'm not someone who could do this parent/life thing without matt. We've only ever been away for 5 days. So I don't do well with being away from him in general.

2. This time he was going to be in a whole different country and leaving me with a rambunctious two year old and being at 35/36 weeks pregnant.

3. I'm pregnant. Recovering from side effects of medication from my sinus infection. So I have not felt well or as well as I usually do when I'm pregnant.

4. I'd be staying away from my perfect recliner matt got me for my recovery from this pregnancy. I've been unable to sleep in a bed since February.

5. My little boy doesn't sleep at grandma's house. Enough said.

6. I'd be away from my doctor and a hospital I trust and am Comfortable with.

7. Matt has been pulling so much weight lately because I'd been sick and pregnant. He wakes up with Josh so I can sleep til whenever I want. He changes all the poop. He cleans. He runs all my errands. He makes sure everything is perfect for me and I'm comfortable. Yes, this was a big concern I had about him leaving. How am I supposed to be two parents? Even one functioning parent?

This is what happened while he's been gone.

1. Josh has a hard time napping--which means mommy has a hard time sleeping/napping.

2. No comfortable place to sleep.

3. Mommy has to be wonder women and super man to take care of herself (the baby) and Josh.

4. Mommy is the only one discipling and Josh just cries for daddy or 'papas' when I'm disciplining. Which is hard because I always feel like the bad guy.

5. He's been going through a phase of waking up really early and not eating well. Which means--cranky tantrum filled days. Hurray! :)

6. Matt gets caught near the biggest earthquake japan has had since 1928. Luckily he emailed me and let me know that he felt the earthquake but he was far enough away that it didn't really effect him or the city he was in.

7. Matt has to fly out of Tokyo. Bullet train still working but probably nothing else. So they can get Ito Tokyo but they are wondering can they get to the airport and will the flight be delayed from anything else?

8. Here's where is gets fun. I started to spot while he was gone. So I called my doctor and he sounded very concerned and told me to come in and get checked out. One problem. Far far away from that hospital.

9. Went to the hospital late at night, the only night it has had a major snow storm.

10. Of course got stuck with a crappy labor and delivery nurse. Seriously! She was awful. I knew more then her
And she then asked my mom if I needed a translator after talking to me for the past 10 minutes! Honestly how stupid are people.

11. Had to deal with everyone acting like this baby was coming that instant. Dealt with my frantic parents and the possibility that maybe it would happen away from my preferred doctor, pediatrician, and oh wait, my HUSBAND!

12. Pretended to stay calm so everyone else would stop freaking out on me.

13. All checked out okay, but I was told I needed to rest because I was already slightly dilated and could start contracting more if I didn't. I just smiled and laughed because how does a single parent rest? I mean seriously?

14. Still experiencing back pain and contractions so I must not be resting enough--again surprise. But they've settled down for the most part and I have a feeling when I get back To my doctor bedrest will be on the list of things to do. But no more spotting so I am grateful!

I marvel at women who say good-bye to husbands who go to war. I marvel at women who say good-bye to husbands and have kids. So if you've ever had your husband leave for more than 10 days and have had kids you have achieved saint-hood in my eyes.

One more thing I've hated that people have told me before when hard time hit my life. "well just be grateful you are not...". Excuse me. My trial is real. My pain is real. Comparing trials is not fair and I hate when people do it. Trials are made for each individual and no one can pass judgement on one, and say that one is easier then another.

Matt has a quote I love, by president Hunter I think, that says something like, 'you'd be surprised how equal trials are for people. How much equality actually does exist in trials Because people are different and have different needs.' President Eyring says the same thing so there are two good reference for not comparing trials and not telling people ...well at least you are not this person or have this.

I guess this last part counts as a confession. Sorry to rant. But I'm safe, matt will be home soon, and hopefully this baby decides to stay all cozy inside my uterus until the planned due date. :)

My Freak Out

Most of you know what has been going with my little family lately. I have been so touched by all the concerns from friends and family. I am so grateful for the love and kindness I've felt from all of you.

I have felt like a bad wife because people seem to be freaking out more than me about the situation. But to be honest before all this happened I was freaking out. I had several panic attacks and cried for several nights because I knew what was ahead of me. I knew that I would need to be strong--but I'm not. So matt gave me blessings, we prayed hard as a family, and I made our home teachers give matt a blessing. I covered my bases so when the time came I wouldn't freak out.

So I guess I feel bad that I'm not as worried as others seem to be. But I just cannot get worked up. Even though I'm having a hard time now. I am finding myself sustained. And I am ever so grateful for that. This will probably be the longest 10, maybe plus days of my life.

I am so grateful for having great friends! More importantly I'm grateful for people choosing to act on inspirations of kindness towards me the week before this happened. The girl I visit teach brought me by a baby gift and I was so touched by her kindness. It meant so much because I was having a hard week. Also the kindness and easy of working with my new VT uplifted my spirits. I am so grateful for so much. Grateful that I started all this feeling good and sustained.

Grateful for not being able to freak out right now. Grateful that I know someone is holding me up despite them not physically being here to do so. So if you talk to me and I don't seem overly concerned about the present situation or that I didn't freak out at the news, it's because my melt downs came earlier. They came and then I asked for heaven's help.

I think that is what Elder Anderson meant in his talk about how even the most faithful fear sometime. You cannot be strong all the time--you need Heaven's help. And then after you've worked through everything, after the tears and melt downs, comes the leap of faith. THe faith that comes after the first few steps in the dark.

So you aren't showing a lack of faith by showing fear. You show a lack of faith if you don't look heavenward to ease that fear.

If this post doesn't make sense then text me and I will fill u in on the specifics but since my blog isn't private I won't be too specific. Just know we are all okay and everso grateful for prayers and your kind phone calls. Thank you!