YW

It has happened. I am now serving in the YW organization. I knew because of my youthful disdain for the auxiliary that I would serve there. 

Once I began to look at the organization from a different perspective I did gain respect for it. This of course happened right before I left it. 

My brother-in-law also helped me gain perspective on this auxiliary. He told me that though I might not have needed the extra gospel support in my life that it provided but maybe someone there needed me. Needed my example. 

Talk about a huge insight. It changed my perspective. I know that individual people can change and help others with their good examples. I've seen it, benefited from it, and acted as the example-only to find that my efforts to be kind had huge ramifications in another's life. 

Grateful for a supportive husband. 

So here goes,  to a new challenge. 

Wandering Through My Mind...

Two posts in a week? What is happening? I can't sleep because of some thoughts.  And probably because my feet hurt.  Feet should be built tougher.  But that isn't my deep thinking.

Last sunday we had a great lesson on helping those we see who have needs.  I appreciated the lesson and the insights given.  But I think a side of this subject wasn't discussed.  The teacher had people speak about their experience with people helping them with their children's disabilities/childhood diseases.

I appreciated their insights and knowing them better now will help me understand them.  Someone mentioned that people didn't take the time to know their family needs and just brought them meals.  Meals, which were appreciated, but not needed.  Our LDS culture and our obsessions with eating.  Here's some food, get well soon! haha! I think it's a crazy tradition too.

Someone else mentioned how they hated when people told them, "they handle their situation really well with their child." And how she thought, "that's darling" because she doesn't, and doesn't appreciate that comment.

The take home message, stop being self-involved and look around.  I totally agree. Meals aren't always the answer. Trying to compliment someone on how they are dealing with adversity may not be the answer, so we need to try and figure out what they really need.

My rebuttal.

Why didn't speak up about the meals? Why don't you speak up about your needs? Why don't you share, privately, that a person's comment isn't really appreciated because you feel like your drowning every day and that compliment makes you feel like crap!

Why don't we speak up?

While living in TN I acquired one of my top most embarrassing moments.  I was invited to fast for a family who had a need.  I was unaware that the need was private, since it was a group text and it wasn't mentioned in the text.  I nonetheless tried to error on caution and never said anything.  Until I was asked to say the opening prayer for sacrament.  I went up with confidence because I am not afraid to pray in public and started my prayer.

The words started in a familiar fashion and then in happened.  I asked to bless the family and our fast.  Whoops, it's not fast sunday, crap! I just announced to the whole ward that me, and a select few are fasting for a family.  Well, I can't go back now.  Just hurry and end the darn thing and run!!!

I spent the whole sacrament in the mother's lounge with a calm baby, praying and crying that I had not offend this family.  That I had not done wrong.  I wasn't planning on saying it, it just literally came rushing out.

I apologized profusely after the meeting to the family but she wasn't offend.  And I thanked the Lord that she had a kind heart.

But then something happened.  Members of the ward sought after this family during church that day to see how they were doing and how they could help.  This family wasn't a "popular family" [do you know what I mean?] as awful as that sounds, but I saw something incredible unfold.  The whole ward, individually, started seeking them out.  We mowed their lawn, took care of their kids, brought meals, drove them to doctor appointment etc.

And I believe it's because people knew.  People saw their was a need and wanted individually to help.  They made serious inquires because they started to understand the gravity of the situation.

They knew.

I have made a great friend who had cancer and she was a fireball.  She was brilliant, beautiful, kind, happy, independent, and selfless.  Because of these qualities she didn't like to ask for help.  She was fine watching her own kids, cleaning her own house, and cooking her own meals.

I too suffer from being stubbornly  independent.  You won't see me asking for help unless I absolutely have to.

This ward not a tight knit ward but I can honestly say I don't know anyone who wouldn't of driven miles/hours to help this beloved family out.  Who would and wanted to desperately  help carry the their burden.

But the members didn't know how or what to do in the beginning.

So we fumbled and guessed as a ward. Awkward comments and nasty meals were in abundance.

We moved out of that ward and so I wasn't privy to weekly updates from her family.  We were just the next city over but it seemed like we were across the ocean.  And I recognize it is my fault I didn't push more to know more. I didn't ask and I will always regret my lack of action.

But I heard she had died from a text message from a friend. I broke into tears.  Had I known how quickly it had gone downhill I would of been there in a heart-beat.  Had I known.  I think that's what makes me most sad about losing this friend.

I wasn't there. I wanted to be there.  I didn't know.

I think we as members need to be understanding.  Understanding that when people try and pay you a compliment, they might be doing what they think is sincere. When people bring meals, maybe that's all they can do.

If they don't know how could they make any other choice than the one they made.

The lesson hear.  Open your mouth! Open your eyes! Ask for help! When asking, be specific about your needs! Do more than ask them, ask the Lord!!!

Do more than just be a visiting teacher, be a genuine friend!!!!

If you haven't seen someone at church for a while, go find out why!

After a baby is born and bloom of having a newborn wears off, go and help them! Newborns are life- suckers!

But if people don't know they can't help.

If people don't know you are drowning from extreme morning sickness, let them know.  Let them know that the idea of you bringing some random meal to their house stresses you out more than anything, but watching their kids/taking them to a park would be a lifesaver! That way you can cry in peace while huddled over the toilet.

Communicate your needs.

Don't let their, "I'm fine" statement deter you! We all know what FINE stands for anyway, Freaked-out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. 

The lesson hear.  Open your mouth! Open your eyes! Ask for help! When asking, be specific about your needs
!
Do more than ask them, ask the Lord!!!

April, May, June...

I use to be really good at blogging.  But it seems like time is going by much faster every day.  Since I last updated this blog, Samuel turned 4 [the moment this happened he started saying he was almost 5], we also celebrated Matt's birthday, and Ben's is now 2!

We also took a vacation to Bear Lake, where we were able to meet up with both Matt's family and mine.  The boys enjoyed being around their cousins and they have really missed them.  Now that we live closer to UT we plan on making more trips and so far everyone has really enjoyed being closer to family.

Our family is healthy and really enjoying living in Colorado.  At first I reluctantly enjoyed my time here because I missed my Tennessee family but now I am feeling like this a great place for our family.

Summer has been really busy and wet here.  It has rained so much I keep forgetting we live in a desert.

So here is my picture overload.

Last day of Bear Lake fun...we were all very tired. 

General Conference activity.  Draw all the speakers ties/necklace.

Joshua making Easter cookies

These boys love to color eggs and frequently talk about how it should be easter year round. 

My little Samuel playing the greatest sport!!!!

Joshua has mad skills!!! Love this little boy! 

The Easter bunny came! 

Happy Birthday Samuel 

This is how they go down slides. 

Celebrating Joshua's graduation from kindergarten with fries and ice cream. 

This guy makes my heart so happy! 

There are no words! 

Happy Birthday Benjamin 

Three generations of Smith boys! 

Our first day at the Lake.  Samuel was confused by all the mud.  

Love my sister! I hate tubing but thought when in Rome. 

March Recap

March went by so quick because we were super sick for two weeks! Ben came down with the Croup and then had secondary infections. I didn't sleep for two weeks and that almost killed me! 

But we are all better now and have been enjoying beautiful weather. Minus the random snow storms we have had. Weather in CO is manic. But it is kind of nice because it isn't always deearg winter weather. 

Recovering from our sick days. Waiting for Joshua to get home from school. I love thag the bus stops him off at our house! 

A leprechaun brought treats! 

This a great picture of my boys. Joshua listening and being obedient and Sam distracted by something shiny. Joshua was the same way so I guess there is hope. 

My boys are obsessed with dinosaurs. We love going to the museums and see fossils. This museum is amazing because they have paleontologists working right in front of you and you can ask them questions. This museum is made for my boys!! 

Art

I have always been fascinated with art.  It was what finally made me want to read more.  I had this amazing art history book and it blew-up my world.  I had no idea that people could create such beautiful works of art.  

Because I paint my children all love to paint.  My husband has always believed in my art work and he decided to take it to the next level.  We now own an LLC for my art.  I plan to start working on an inventory and selling them.  I'm not sure which websites I will be using to sell my work but I am excited that I will be creating a passive income for our family.  I really don't want to work when my kids are all finally in school but I would like to have a job.  

Today I am starting on painting again.  I haven't painted since I was pregnant with Ben.  I have some really good ideas to work from so let's see how they turn out.  

I teach in RS and I made a word cloud in the silhouette of Christ.  The words are words that President Benson said were used to describe Christ throughout the book of mormon.  He only listed 25 but said there were over 100.  

Posting Because I Had Some Inspiration...

Valentine's day was spent with my parents and brother.  It was going to be a low key weekend.  That is how we roll.  But Matt was incredibly ill with the flu.  I tend not to be a very sympathetic wife and felt like maybe Matt should stop complaining and deal with his sickness.  

After all I have been in his shoes before.  Last time I had the flu he was out of town and it snowed for the first time after we moved into our house.  I had to still take care of the kids and still make meals.  Granted we watched lots of TV while I rested or shivered next to them but I still worked hard.  I felt like Matt should be working hard too.  What is a little sickness after all? 

I had some time to ponder this and I realized something.  Maybe I am given the ability to keep pushing myself as a mother when I'm sick because I am specifically promised Heaven's help as a mother.  

"Do the best you can through these years (while raising young children), but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. " [Elder Holland, Because she is a mother]

I am strengthened because I am doing a God's work.  I have heard women complain that their husbands feel like the world ends when they are sick.  I now feel guilty because I thought this the whole weekend.  But now I realize that I was wrong.  I should be grateful that I am promised such help from Heaven and have more compassion for my husband.  

I am grateful to recognize tender mercies from Heaven because it helps me realize that I am never alone in trying to be the parent I want to be.  As long as I am trying I am promised help.  

Rambling Again...

I haven't posted in a while because I have been lazy.  The new year started with sickness and crazy amounts of snow.  It really is weird living for three years being afraid of ice and snow and then coming back to a place where people don't seem to mind.

My boys have loved the snow and we do like that the snow doesn't stay for too long.  It helps us appreciate the weather.

So here is some journaling.

Joshua had his birthday in January.  I cannot believe how big he is getting and how fast he is growing up.  He love going to school and we are grateful he at least gets to ride a bus.  He took several friends to a movie and then partied with Uncle Joe and Aunt Michelle.  It was a great birthday weekend. 

He is full of personality. Truly, I am so blessed to be his mother.  He makes me so happy. 

Colorado is sunny I will give it that.  We like playing in the snow and then playing soccer the next day.  Both Samuel and Joshua will be playing this spring and I am elated!!!!! Our saturdays will be consumed for the next few months by soccer games! 

My favorite picture of him wearing my favorite sweater.  He only lets me dress him occasionally.  He mainly likes comfortable clothes.  

Proud mommy moment.  Both both anxious about reading their scriptures before bed.  Joshua is reading them all by himself and loves too.  It wasn't encouraged by us but he desperately loves to read them every night.  I am amazed that he has progressed so much.  Wish I could devote more time to him because I feel like he really could do anything.  

The reason I get up in the morning.  Truly.  

Joshua shared his frosting at his school's Valentine's day party with SAm.  I was going to stop it but then I realized how cute it was.  I tried not to squirm from the idea of sharing germs but we are family so it doesn't matter right? 

My parents and brother came to visit and needless to say they the boys loved having company.  Especially playing the wii with Uncle Jake.  

New Year...

I love starting fresh.  Having moved so many times it has been something I have gotten use to.  I have been able to live in so many places and know so many people.

This year looks bright and I am extremely excited to see how our family will grow as we start again in a new state.

We are very happy in Colorado.  We live by my brother and his family and are now short drive to UT to visit friends and family.

The end of the year was more relaxing, except for the fact that Samuel was sick...again.  Matt and him spent new year's eve in the ER with the Croup.  Man, my poor Samuel gets so sick and he is sick.

The biggest lesson I thought about learning from this year was one I was reminded about this Christmas season.

We had a RS dinner and I brought some food.  It was a treat all of my family enjoyed and something that was a little different, so I thought it would be a good idea to bring it to the dinner.  Well, no one ended up eating it.  I brought a ton because I'm someone who always wants to make sure I cover all of my bases.  I felt humiliated as I saw people talk about my dessert and how unappealing it looked. It kind of made me upset.  But after coming home I remembered a story from President Eyring.

The odd thing, is I had a similar situation happen to me last Christmas when volunteering my time for a Christmas party for the ward.

Here is the story.

To appreciate this story, you have to realize that it occurred when he was nearly eighty and had bone cancer. He had bone cancer so badly in his hips that he could hardly move. The pain was great.

Dad was the senior high councilor in his stake with the responsibility for the welfare farm. An assignment was given to weed a field of onions, so Dad assigned himself to go work on the farm.

Dad never told me how hard it was, but I have met several people who were with him that day. I talked to one of them on the phone the other night to check the story. The one I talked to said that he was weeding in the row next to Dad through much of the day. He told me the same thing that others who were there that day have told me. He said that the pain was so great that Dad was pulling himself along on his stomach with his elbows. He couldn’t kneel. The pain was too great for him to kneel. Everyone who has talked to me has remarked how Dad smiled, and laughed, and talked happily with them as they worked in that field of onions.

Now, this is the joke Dad told me on himself, afterward. He said he was there at the end of the day. After all the work was finished and the onions were all weeded, someone asked him, “Henry, good heavens! You didn’t pull those weeds, did you? Those weeds were sprayed two days ago, and they were going to die anyway.”

Dad just roared. He thought that was the funniest thing. He thought it was a great joke on himself. He had worked through the day in the wrong weeds. They had been sprayed and would have died anyway.

When Dad told me this story, I knew how tough it was. So I said to him, “Dad, how could you make a joke out of that? How could you take it so pleasantly?”

He said something to me that I will never forget, and I hope you won’t. He said, “Hal, I wasn’t there for the weeds.”  

I realized that even though, I donated my time and I felt like it wasn't appreciated, it was because I chose to serve.  I chose to give of my time and talents to help my church.  I chose to help because I felt like I should.

I still get the reward for choosing to serve, even though, I might of thought my work was worthless and unappreciated.

Who am I doing service for? Am I serving so others will see how "awesome and selfless I am?"

I needed to learn that no matter if I think my work is not appreciated by others, it doesn't matter.  My work is appreciated by the only person who matters, my Savior.

This year I would like to try and keep that in mind as I serve.  I would like to be better.

My new year's resolutions for 2015

The dessert that no one ate. I made so much. I felt horrible trashing it but I probably would of had a a heart attack if I ate all of it by myself.