Being Grateful...And a Confession...

After our latest OB appointment I realized why I was feeling better. He told me that at this point in a pregnancy the pregnancy hormones start to taper off. The rush of the pregnancy hormone is what causes morning sickness. But since I'm in my third trimester now everything gets harder. There is less room in my body for my vital organs and my gag reflex gets, you guess it, worse.

So I am back to being uncomfortable, hungry, and stressed. But I am grateful for the opportunity I had to have a little rest from my sickness. Here are just a few fun things I was able to do.

*drove from Logan to Provo semi-comfortably to see my new little niece
*planned and celebrated my little boy's birthday...pictures to come
*got to know one of my visiting teachers better
*Ate three meals a day
*Ate several peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, something that I really wanted to do because it was so plain and perfect...and I knew I couldn't have it
*played with my son more
*Did I mention ate 3 meals a day and enjoy eating almost anything
*Changed little Joshy's diaper without vomiting every time
*Actually didn't have to cart around sugary treats to help control my nausea
*Went to more than just sacrament


Yes, I am grateful...because I get to have another one of these running around, driving me crazy, pushing me to the limits in every way, in 2 1/2 months!




Confession Time...or Journaling...

This is purely for myself and journaling purposes so stop reading this post if you are pressed for time and or don't want to read my testimony. Seriously, stop if you don't want to read this, I won't be offended. Have a great day!


To Be Pregnant…


For me being pregnant has been the worse experience of my life. Both pregnancies have been filled with IV’s, throwing up in numerous public places, pain, emotional stress, and physical pain. I loathe myself when I’m pregnant. But these times for me have changed my life for the better, each time. Elder Scott in his October 2010 address said, “With even your strongest faith, God will not always reward you 8immediately according to your desires. Rather, God will respond with what in His eternal plan is best for you, when it will yield the greatest advantage. Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes. That causes your faith to increase and your character to grow.”

I will admit that during the first pregnancy I was dishearten because I felt like I had enough faith to be healed from my extreme morning sickness but it wasn’t going away. My husband gave me numerous blessings and I even received a blessing from my father. I was promised that my little boy would be healthy and that all would work out. I even found relief for a few days after the blessing was given but my sickness always came back. I questioned so much why this was happening because I believed I was doing right in my life, living the way I should, and obeying His words. What I took from that pregnancy experience was incredible trust in my Heavenly Father, that He knew me, that He cared, and even though my times would be hard, He would be there to help. I wasn’t suffering because of my lack of faith but I was suffering to help me gain the faith I would need to be a mother.

What I have taken from my second pregnancy is that complaining gets you nowhere. I knew it was right to have another child and new from the start what would be required of me. However when this pregnancy started all the suffering ate at my faith, again. I want to be a mother, so why doesn’t my Heavenly Father make it slightly easier? Why does He require so much from me? This is too hard! My words resounded in my ear as I read the account of Nephi and his brothers trying to acquire the gold plates. Lamen and Lemuel’s complaints were pretty much my own. This is too hard and too much has been required of me. I found my lesson of righteous indignation from Nephi’s words. “For I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” (1 Nephi 3:7).

I had talked to my husband about how this pregnancy would be our last but I knew deep down inside it wasn’t what my Heavenly Father wanted. Matt prayed about it and said, he felt like the decision was up to me. Great, for once I actually wanted him to tell me that he felt for sure one way or another. I hate it when the choice is up to me. After I heard a talk given by Elder Anderson I knew I was suppose to try one more time. I wasn’t given a reassurance that it would be easier but that I just needed to try; once more.

After pondering the consequences of my decision I resigned myself to the possibility of having another child after this one. My heart sank but I knew that this is what my Heavenly Father wanted and if He wanted it He would provide away. About a week later after waved my white flag I started feeling slightly better. I immediately thought that something must be wrong with my baby. But it wasn’t and although I still need my anti-nausea medication I haven’t needed an IV. Life is still hard but much more bearable. From this pregnancy I gained a testimony of when you give your will to the Lord He truly provides a way. Not necessarily that the trial goes away but that it becomes much easier to bear.