The Chasm is Closing

"But it is never going to be easy for you or for those you serve. There will always be pain in service and in the repentance necessary to bring the power of the Atonement to change hearts. That is in the nature of what you are called to do. Think of the Savior, whose service you are in. At what point in His mortal life can you see an instance when it was easy for Him? Did He ask easy things of His disciples then? Then why should it ever be easy in His service or for His disciples?"- President Eyring 

After having a really hard and terrible two months I'm finally feeling better. I spent last weekend loving on my family because I was a stress monster to them. I had no patience and was crazy. It was a great way to recharge. Matt also installed blinds in some of our windows and we hung curtains to help our home feel more finished. It's still all white walls but I don't mind. Whites coming back. At least it's clean! 

But I'm back to feeling more like myself. I have a big project coming up and am super excited for it to be over. I am looking forward to seeing the results of all our hard work. 

This week I only had to do a sharing time for junior primary. I was a little relieved but sad because I feel like senior primary always goes better than Junior. Probably because they are older and tend to contribute more to the lesson. I always stand up there and just feel like a preforming monkey and never know if the teachers think I'm crazy. I got a text message from one of the teachers today telling me she really enjoyed my great lesson. I was floored. It was a true tender mercy and I was so grateful to her for sharing her kind words. She will never know how I needed to hear those things from her. 

I was also going over some talks by President Eyring and realized I really needed to receive my own personal confirmation about being a primary president. I needed to know that it was truly what Heavenly Father wanted for me. Because some times my efforts won't go so well (like they had been) and I could draw strength from the knowledge that He was aware of me and that He made the call. 

So I have been trying to ponder that this week. I know He knows me. I know He's aware of me. I know He loves me. 

It is never meant to be easy for me here. It was meant to be hard. It wasn't easy for Him. 

I also was able to spend time in the temple this week. All of which has helped me gain perspective. 

Although when I'm starting to find my footing I found out some heartbreaking news about a friend's health and I was like, seriously? 

But I'm grateful I know so I can resume my stalker status and be a better friend for her. 

So there is hope. Always. No matter what I'm going through, I know there is always hope.