The Disparity...

Some recent events on FB have irked me. My husband has a few friends who love to post and discuss political injustices. The most recent post was concerning the “pants and prayers” issue that have been brought up by some women of the church. I think what irks me the most is the fact that they are trying to use social media to “correct” the church.

The woman who was in charge of the Pants issue said she was in Target one day, going through the clearance section, and realized there were so many injustices towards women in the church that she wanted to start a movement to help “correct” the Church.

After I read her story, one major red flag flew up. Her idea that she, could correct the Church. Doesn’t that seem odd?

I understand that her aim and others is to adjust the current gender bias that seems to preside in the church. That, is a good ideal. But the big issue I see with is she wants something the Church already does. Counsel us to close the gender disparities gap.

I wanted to find a list of grievances from the Pants movement instigator. But I couldn’t find specific injustices that she had listed. I have tried to see what those injustices might be.


-Maybe that we don’t hold the priesthood?
-Women don’t get to say a prayer in conference?
-We don’t hold major leadership roles? (Which actually I completely disagree with but others see that maybe because we aren’t at the forefront of the First Presidency, that is an injustice.)

I jokingly told my husband I think the only gender inequality in the church is the placement of tags/seams on certain items of clothing for the women as compared to where they are placed on for men.

To address the grievances of not holding a major office or priesthood you need to start studying. I know that this does anger many women. Why can’t they call down the powers of heaven, formally through the priesthood? But as a woman who has sought the help of Heaven many times in difficult situations I would say, I didn’t need it, because I was a woman. The Heavens did answer.

I was in a Relief Society Presidency once, a sabbatical from my eternal calling of nursery leader, and because I knew I had to gain a stronger testimony of the role of this auxiliary (I was severally lacking in my testimony of Relief Society) I did what I do best, RESEARCH.

I read and read all the talks I could find about Relief Society and women’s roles in the church. What I found was something that I didn’t realize was even there, or even had been addressed. The Church does hold women in a certain position, but it is not below that of a man, I would say, it is above that of men.

But you would have to research for yourself to see to see the pattern.

I remember telling a high school friend how lucky he was that he was able to go to The Priesthood session of Conference, to which he told me his opinion. “No I am not. We always get yelled at and told we need to be better.” That was the first time I heard such a comment from a young man about priesthood conference sessions.

And after researching I realized he is right. Most sessions are that of calling men to be better, rise higher, shed the chauvinistic view of being a man, and be a man of God. If this wasn’t true Elder Holland would not be known as the “big guns” speaker. He is famous for addressing hard subjects, like spousal abuse, infidelity, and pornography. He and other apostles call men to stop making their wives cry, to scaring their children into submission, to stop yelling in their homes, and treating their wives poorly.

But the problem is that the men that are supposed to be hearing this talk and changing don’t. For some reason, their radar is turned off and they believe that this counsel does not apply to them. Which most of the time, when someone is deep in a sin, denial is ever abundant.

So the sisters of the Church are asking the First Presidency to address the gender biases. But they already have. What more could they do? Take away the free agency of these men? That would be nice, but that isn’t how the Church works. They give us principals to live by and it is up to us to live them.

I think the, “why don’t women say prayers in conference?” is just an oversight. I honestly don’t believe that past First Presidency’s have thought, “How can we make the women of this church feel their true place? Yes, I know, by not letting them say prayers in conference.”

“However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” Elder Bednar, And Nothing Shall Offend Them.

I had heard from a friend’s husband that the Church has been involved in instigating some practices that are not right. Like having a Bishop check with a couple about how frequently she is having sex with her husband. To counsel her to make sure it was very frequently.

Red flag.

That has never been a church policy. That is a clear example of how certain men (because of a cultural belief) exercise their “authority” in a given calling to demean women.

I have heard Bishopbric members laugh and make light of a Girl’s camp testimony meeting because of the emotional state that some of young ladies were in when bearing their testimony. That is a great example of perpetuating gender inequalities. That it is okay, for a man to pass judgment on young girls about how they feel when they have the spirit with them. Letting men think that it’s okay to mock women is definitely an inequality that I know presides in the church. But it is NOT Church policy to do so.

These are choices made by men who are exercising their agency in a destructive way.

"I include the sisters because it is crucial for everyone to understand what is expected of the brethren. Unless we enlist the attention of the mothers and daughters and sisters—who have influence on their husbands, fathers, sons, and brothers—we cannot progress. The priesthood will lose great power if the sisters are neglected." -Pres.Packer, Power of the Priesthood

If you are a women who feels that her place is overlooked in the Church then you should do some RESEARCH. Research talks written by the men who run the church. Do you ever hear them mock or demean their wives? Do they skip over hard topics like spousal abuse? Do they put women down because they are women and do not hold the priesthood?

We hold office in the church. We have an auxiliary that is a force. If you have ever been in a Relief Society presidency and seen how closely they work with the Bishop (or should, because that is how it is supposed to work) then you will understand the kind of influence a Relief Society President has on a Bishop and his goals for the ward. But not all presidencies and Bishops work well together.

But it is SUPPOSED to! Read the handbook.

Read. Read. Read.


Plus, what modern woman would give up her pencil skirt for a pair of trousers? Nothing makes a statement like a good pencil skirt and some great pumps!