Christmas 2010

This Christmas was fun as I was able to see many family members I had not seen for a while. We had our cousin Christmas party which was always a blast! Then I spent several days with my family, followed by Christmas day with the Smith's! Also had lunch with the Lowe's and my friend Schmidt and her little boy! So fun, thanks guys! It was so good to see everybody and I actually ate some delicious food.

I'm glad my family understood that I needed naps and needed to go to bed before 10pm. When I'm pregnant sleep is essential and so this Christmas wasn't that exciting for me, or NEw Year's Eve. Poor Matt, he will get his wife back soon.

Josh had lots of fun with his cousins and especially enjoyed playing with Madilyn and Sadie. I'm happy his cousins like him.


Josh didn't want to be in the program but when he saw Sadie and Madilyn he wanted to join them...



Josh trying to stand in and not noticing that he completely stands out! Our little black ninja!



Finally decided he didn't fit in with those cute white angels and just decided to do his own thing...which is always what Joshua does. Stubbornly independent.





Fighting over Joshua...josh is a ladies killer


The boys...

Tis the Season...

So the last week before Matt was done with school Joshua was incredibly ill. He had toncilitus, a cold, and an ear infection. Yes, life was fun for a while at the Smith home. I haven't been feeling well but it has been hard to tell if the sickness is really a cold/sore throat/ or just plain pregnancy crap. Either way we spent about 1 week in our pj's enjoyed staying in away from the cold weather in Logan.

On a happier note Matt now has a Master's in Human Resources and just has a few more months for his MBA and then he is done! He did so well this semester balancing everything. He is great at balancing his calling, me, Joshua, and again...me :). Poor Matt has to carry everyone because I'm useless right now. But I'm so proud of all he does and how smart he is! Congrats MATT!


My dear friend Karen also moved away from Logan :(. This made me so sad and I'm so sad I won't be right there to see her and her baby girl! She has been such a great friend and I loved getting to know her! Friends make life so much better! I will miss you Karen! Thanks for lunch and Hillaree and I plan to come visit you once you have your little girl! Church won't be the same and Joshua will probably hate nursery even more.

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Last Sunday Joshua met his first apostle! We were visiting my parent's ward and we had the opportunity to listen to a Christmas program by Elder Anderson and his wife. They are in my parents ward and so sometimes we get to see him. He gave an incredible talk about not fearing the hard times. He said, "everyone has tribulations... Faith does not take away fear all the time... Everyone fear--even the most faithful..."

That was great to hear because I worry about so much. I worry about Joshua, about the health of this baby because I don't eat well, have no vitamins, and about wondering if I have enough courage inside to finish this pregnancy. It's so hard, being so emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained everyday. And I get mad at myself because I think I'm a weaker person for fearing what might be. I try and only focus on getting through that day and don't keep track of how along I am. Which has made it go by faster. Turns out I just barely reached my 6 month! Hurray! Almost done...sort of.

When we went up after sacrament to thank Elder Anderson for his talk we shook his hand and Joshua immediately reached out to shake his hand. He LOVES to shake hands! Elder Anderson was very impressed.

I love having my parents live in Bountiful because you never know who you will see at your sacrament or stake conference.

For The Record...

My cute friend Meg does a weekly confession post and I love them! Meg, this post was inspired by your many confession posts.


This is basically how I feel all the time. Just for the Record...



For the Record...

*Yes, I don't seem to gain actual pounds very fast but that doesn't mean my belly doesn't grow like a weed! So the scale says I only gained a few pounds but my belly gets just as big as anyone else. Which I guess is good but hard to explain to people because I look just like a normal pregnancy person, instead of a starving, miserable one.
*What was the point of being physically fit if you just get stretch marks all over what you thought were healthy abs?
*I can't ever use a public restroom when someone else is in it because I get near vomiting if I hear anyone do anything
*I HATE eating candy to help my nausea. What is worse? Constantly feeling nauseated or having cavity filled teeth?
*I can't figure out if I have a sore throat or just the lining of my esophagus has been eroded, again.
*I'm not willing to drop everything for someone if I've just thrown up. But that doesn't mean I don't feel awful afterward and cry because I didn't follow through with something.
*I hate matt being in school and working.
*I hate finals week for Matt!
*I get my kicks from watching episodes on youtube of Marie Antionette
*I've seen Toy Story 3 probably a thousand times since we bought it in October and the movie is driving me crazy!
*I probably let Joshua watch too much TV but most of the time I just feel crappy so it's hard to do much else with him...I'm an awful mom I know...
*I hate driving anywhere but love that Matt randomly takes me to visit old friends and my mom because sometimes, you just need your Mom.
*I have a PRN note to the IV Fusion center at our local hospital so I don't have to call the doctors office every time I feel like I'm dieing or go to the ER
*I'm super sensitive and if anyone remotely talks mean to me I just cry for hours
*Everyday seems like an eternity and all I do is focus on getting through that day

Yes, I'm miserable but I know I'm doing the RIGHT thing for me, RIGHT now in my life. I know that this little boy was meant to come join our family NOW.

So even if I'm miserable, deep down I'm happy because I'm one day closer to having this little guy here with me.